I’m totally buggin’. I’ve noticed my body buzzing. It’s like this strange vibrational thing that is increasing in intensity that I’m noticing more and more. Currently, I feel it mostly in my nether parts (eek) which freaks me out for two reasons. One, what if this is some physical malady I should be worried about, and two, what if this is what they are talking about in the Word books about the people who read/listen to the books feeling buzzing in their bodies. Eek. Eek eek eeeeeeek.
So, I must admit the whole channeled book thing really freaks me out. In the interest of having an open mind, I began listening to the books. It freaked me out, but I went with it, and I began to trust. Each new book, I freaked out a little more, but then seemed to adjust to it, and went on to the next book. At one point, I decided they were getting too freaky and thought I would simply listen without repeating the intentions. Then after re-listening to them, I said all the intentions. Each time I said the intentions, I understood them more and more, and what I am agreeing to, and feeling it more as an agreement rather than as some mysterious concept that I can’t understand. I started to process everything as I went along. My dreams were freakin’ crazy for awhile, and I knew I was learning and being taught in dreams, and I didn’t bother trying to journal them because they were so bizarre that I knew no words for what I was experiencing in the dreams. Then I got to one of the most current books, maybe it’s the 4th or 5th one, I’m not sure, but they reveal more of what they are, and I’m not even kidding, I yanked the headphones out of my ears and tossed my iPhone away from me. I was terrified. What the fuck was I doing saying all these intentions without knowing what entity is coming through this dude? Why did I trust it? What is it? What are they??? But I decided to trust the feeling of calmness and love that was growing inside, and I began listening again. And then I listened to each of them again, in turn. And each time I say the words, I feel more and more that I am aligning with some higher weirdness. I feel like a brand new person. Even though I’m still me and I still know that the “old” me is here, but so is this new strangeness growing within, and I trust it. I know it is LOVE.
So all these weird serendipitous things started happening, and then soon after, this buzzing. It was just once in awhile before, but now, it’s increased so much that I feel it all the time. I feel it especially at night when I lay in bed, and as I lay down, I smell this very sweet scent and I feel someone or something stroking my hair. Now today I’ve been feeling the buzzing all day. Part of my mind wants to assume it’s some strange physical symptom, and the part of me that remembers the terror of the possibility of cancer wants to make an appointment for a full body scan. And this other part of me that is starting to grok this whole thing, and so many strange pieces are being snapped into place…that part of me knows something.
So today while swimming I tried to re-enter a dream I had a long time ago. I may have blogged about it here, but it was one of those intensely terrifying and visceral dreams with Robin Artisson, the author. There were a lot of weird parts of the dream, but the most freaky was when I walked out onto this long, long dock into a dark body of water under a night sky. My hands started to become electrified or something and when I looked down at them, they had holes all over and it seemed that I could see the cosmos through them, and they looked like star maps. My hands felt like fire. And all the while, I can hear this absolutely frightening voice calling itself “Master” and saying all sorts of shit that was scary as anything. As I looked into the night sky, I could see the same star maps that were in my hands, and they were just golden bright and beautiful, and this voice is going on and on about something that I could not recall. I just knew pure terror.
This dream is very curious to me, because I know somewhat about this entity called “Master” from studying some of Robin’s work, and Sarah Lawless and Peter Paddon and others in the Traditional Witchcraft vein. But they mention this “Master” in the Word books, and they explain it as an aspect of the self that is a master. Like you would say, “Master Jedi” or whatever…it’s when we become a master of our selves. That is to say, we come to know who and what we truly are. And that is a level of mastery. Maybe not the top, right, but like…another level. In Traditional Witchcraft, the “Master” would be considered the entity that kind of became the Christian devil, and that is how he, or it, is described…the hooved feet, the trickery, the scariness. Sometimes I think that Master is revealed as the Crossroads spirit, or what is sometimes called The Black Man at the Crossroads, or the Opener of the Way.
As I was trying to re-enter the weird cosmic hands dream, out of the blue, I instead recalled a dream I had had about the Baron Samedi. He is an interesting and famous character (Google him, and you’ll recognize his likeness straight away) whose lore is fairly specific. I would have to revisit that dream journal to find out the specifics of the dream, but I found it intriguing that while trying to enter this one dream, the Baron pops into my head. He is all about death and sex and crassness, which upon further thought actually seems a perfect match for me, haha. Anyway….a lot to chew on. I gotta go try to find that dream entry!