“You’ve Taken Your First Steps…”

I started this some time ago…

I’ve been thinking about what I need to do in order to up my game in living shamanically. Number one, I know that I need to take better care of my container. The body is the temple, the only temple, that matters. I realize now the need for actual energy clearing, like QiGong, as I think this will help bring some of those pesky unseen issues into better balance. Eating and sleeping better are constant goals of mine, and strengthening my meditation practices. These I have been pretty good about, though I’ve noticed my weight went up as I took a break from eating my usual amount of meat. I sing and pray each morning at my altars, and at the swing where I sit before work which has become a sacred place to me where I feel I’m developing a relationship with the spirits of the land, the animals and birds of the area. I have also noticed how little my “inner critic” speaks with such harshness, if at all, these days. While I was plagued this past week or two with my familiar suicidal thoughts, they have grown into a different thing, and not stemming from my own self-belittlement, a practice that I have finally, blessédly, ceased. They seem to be at once the result of my aging hormones, but also aging, in general. The growing understanding of mortality. The realization that at the end of the bodily struggle is death. It is no more complicated than that. I feel that snake-ever-eating-its-tail of time, ready to consume me and set my consciousness free into some other thing, and taking me away from this gorgeous planet I have grown to adore so. I do not want to go.

 

 

 

 

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