Friday and Saturday were special days. I attended a workshop with Jaime that explored and introduced us to the Celtic Spirit Directions. I journaled a massive, private journal about the experience, but here are my journey experiences in brief:
EAST JOURNEY “Where have I been? Where was I before?” (air, inspiration)
I am walking towards the dawning sunrise along a path between two mountains. I am dressed in a full-length Arwen-style dress that changes colors. I start running and I ask for blessings or guidance. I see a giant eye that is very subtle to perceive. I then see a thicket of trees and the sun leads me to keep walking towards it. I am then on the back of a giant eagle, flying into the sunrise. There are mountains and green grass. I ask again what I need to know and I don’t perceive anything specific, just hearing the beat of the drum. Then I hear, “Now we have met. You can come back to learn more.”
SOUTH JOURNEY “Why am I here? What is my purpose?” (fire, summer, manifestation, joyfulness, unbound love, life force, freedom, passion, permission-giving)
Jaime suggested that we ask the South to deliver a healing.
I am a being of flame. It reminds me or I become/see Silibo as my skin appears brown or black and is surrounded in fire. I am reveling in the sun and then later I lay in the water with the Sun above. I do not “see”much else but feel the joyousness of the summer freedom without clothes or the burdens of winter. I ask for healing and am told that I need to allow myself to feel and be joyful and beautiful and let my experiences be fun and meaningful for me. I thought I saw a hand-fasting, and there was some sexual stuff with me and maybe several men (including my husband) on a beach. I was lying naked in the sand letting the passion enfold me.
WEST JOURNEY “Where do I go?” (water, salt-water cleansing, wash fear away, setting intentions, carrion eaters, autumn, dusk, dying, letting go, destruction, detachment of identity, ending, patterns and stories we live by can let go, grieving, fear and excitement for change, initiatory event, dismemberment).
“Emotions are not you, they are visiting spirits”
Before this journey, we all chanted AWE-SHAW-WEY, which means roughly: be open to awe, let the awe come close but not too close (the wind in the top of the trees), and let the awe do what it will, the allowance of it to manifest within us. Then Jaime did what in his teachers’ tradition is called “cleansing the hoocha”, and he cleansed us each individually with a crows wing and with song before we went into the journey. He suggested that we spend time in this journey actively traveling, it is in this act that the change of consciousness happens, so allow the traveling to continue on and on and on.
This was my most visual and vivid journey.
I am in a canoe on the Pacific Ocean, rowing towards the setting sun. I wrestle with the fear of sharks and being in such a small boat with such huge waves, but then a peace settles over me, and the waters become very still. I row a long while, watching the sun glow bright orange against the glittering waves. I can feel the fear and hesitation as I row towards what I know is the death of my identity, but also the anticipation and excitement for a new journey. Then I become a horse or reindeer and I am flying in the air and it seems very laborious. I can really only perceive the legs, my legs, of the creature, and I am feeling the sensation of being in this different body. Then I am a horse running on land, and as I run and run towards the West, the sun disappears and it is dark. I am then myself, in my human form, and my clothes disappear, my skin starts to peel away and there are birds, vultures, removing my flesh, my eyes are removed, then my liver is removed. I am only slightly scared and I can still perceive everything the same, yet I feel unfettered and free. I hear the drums calling me back, and my skin and eyes are hastily replaced, though I did not see my liver go back in, and I am running until I then become the horse, riding swiftly across the grass, then in the air laboriously flying, then as the horse I drop abruptly into the boat, and then I am human again and I am rowing with my arms through the water and I pull the boat onto the beach of Waikiki.
Jaime advises that we can strengthen our energetic home (our bodies) so that we are not homes for “homeless thoughtforms”. We can ask Crow to eat the negative thoughtforms, these parasitic energies that can be eaten by the spirit of Crow, taken to the spirit world and made into something beneficial. We can ask West for assistance with this, too, and cleanse ourselves with salt water.
NORTH JOURNEY “Where is my power? Where is power?” (winter, truth-telling, decision-making, discipline, ancestral wisdom, battle, weapons against the human struggle, tools and weapons can be creativity, art-making, poetry, beauty as well as regular “battle” weapons, mythic weapons, psychological, internal weapons against fear, self-doubt, loneliness, etc.)
Question to ask the North: “What are the weapons or tools I need in this struggle?” Sometimes the other directions will give you the weapon, for example, to open creativity, go to the South.
I am human in the snowy landscape that has become familiar to me through the Reindeer journeys. Then I become a polar bear. I am frolicking in the snow, rolling around, letting it cool my back, then I am fishing and I can see my enormous paws and claws catching the fish, I can feel the cool water, taste the raw flesh of the fish. I dive into the water and feel what this bear body feels like when it is swimming, graceful and fast. Then I go to a cave, and when I reach the cave, I become human again and I swim in the waters within the cave. As I leave the cave, I am a mother polar bear with my baby and we are playing, running and fishing together. Jaime is beating a special drum this time, one that is enormous and creates a very different sound and vibration than a frame drum, and as the drum beat increases to a frenzied pace, I am the polar bear on hind legs, and I can feel the power building inside me and I roar this power into the freezing air. As the drums call us back, I am human again, and I look like a Sami shaman with a painted frame-drum on my back, but I can also see myself from behind as if I am the person I am looking at but also the person behind. I think it is a male person. We are running through the snow. I thought I heard some verbal messages about my tools of helping people and in turn that helps me or something similar, but it is hard to discern.