I did the Reindeer Meditation again along with the recorded video and received more insight from the Reindeer Goddess.
I am a reindeer. I am walking along a snowy path that winds into some mountains. The shade of the mountains is severe against the bright of the sun against the snow. A white deer appears and follows along the opposite bank. I then start to sprint, and I am amazed at how fast my legs can take me, and how different this body feels than a human body. I run a long way until I see the lake. The first lake is blue, and it is daylight. I see the sky reflected in it. I see my hooves dip into the water. Then the meditation guides the scene into darkness, and I see a bright, incredible moon in the water. The moon in the water and the moon in the sky kiss as if they have lips. It is very quiet and still here. Then I continue walking, then start running again, until the journey leads to an icy, black lake that reflects the stars in it. Again, the black of the water kisses the black of the sky as if they have lips. It seems as if the lake is an eye of a reindeer. I walk along in darkness and stillness until I come upon the red, flowing river of blood and carefully step in, still in the shape of a reindeer. The other deer is across the way, now looking as if it is speaking to the two wolves, but I do not hear or understand anything they are communicating. The wolves have dark, coarse hair, and behave differently this journey because they know I have been here before and I know what to do. I feel the pulse of the blood surrounding me, and I do not need to breathe while swimming underneath it.
Ancestors say they are with me always, their wisdom is with me. My ancient wisdom is with me.
The reindeer says she is always there for me, no matter what, she is always there to help and to be called upon. She instructs me to now reveal my brilliance, that I am still hiding in shadows of doubt. She says I need only follow my heart, follow my joy, and I will find my way. She can sense the fear constricting my heart as I imagine what I truly want, the path I see but am afraid to seek, and she says, “When you follow the joy, the path will open with possibilities and security.” She can sense I am afraid of being left alone, of being widowed, of financial ruin and poverty. I associate complete autonomy with these things, these fears and imagined outcomes. She assures me that fully trusting my guides will allow these fears to subside.