Blood on the Snow

Yesterday I went on a journey led by Yeshe Rabbit, and though there were some technical problems, I was finally able to tune in about mid-way through. I am hoping the recorded version gets posted soon so I can do the whole journey, but what I experienced yesterday is enough to journal about…

As she drummed a quick, steady, frame-drum beat, her voice strong and full of the power I know this woman to possess, I was almost instantly brought into the trance woo. I dove into a river of blood, where the faces and arms of my ancestors swam and greeted me. My hair held all the blood like dew clings to blades of grass…. There are two wolves at the side of the river, they are enormous and black and seem to have eyes that reflect the red flowing river of blood. I can see their white teeth, and though they look frightening, I am not scared of them. I can see the edge of the river as I swim, and I climb out. I am both within my body and without, watching the scene. I am naked and my pale skin enhances the contrast of the rivulets of blood that drip from my body and hair. I am standing in a snowy white landscape with stands of birch. I have been here before, meeting the fleeting presence of the Reindeer Goddess in this place. It is freezing, and the blood drips into the snow, steaming and leaving its trail conspicuously as I walk. Suddenly a massive herd of reindeer descend upon me, thousands and thousands it seems all create an incredible pattern, alive and pounding. This is the realm of the great mother, she rules this pristine land. This is a place before Thor, before Odin, before the divine masculine existed. She is the beginning, the energy that birthed us all. And then I see her approach, she is bigger than the rest, and the herd continues to run around me and the river. She stands before me, and I bow to her in reverence. She lowers her head to me. Her antlers are huge and fuzzy. I nuzzle her nose, my forehead touches hers, I bury my face and hands in her white fur, leaving stains of red in blotchy marks all over her gorgeous, clean fur. She doesn’t care, she welcomes my touch, she receives my pure form with a wild sense of instinct that empowers and inflames my soul. I can hear and feel her strong heart beating, and suddenly I can see her heart, and somehow it is placed within my own heart. It is bloody red and dripping, too, and beats, beats, beats. Alive. Without seeing myself mount her, I am now on top of her back and she runs and runs and runs along what seems like the edge of this white, crystalline world and I can see for miles out into the distance. I can see the long shadows, I can see the sun gleaming in all the flakes of snow. We ride for what seems like a long time, and she seems to impart things to me, images, feelings, knowledge, comfort, passion…. Then she returned me to the river, I dove back in, as I swam in the liquid red I felt as if time were suspended in cherry Jell-O and I seemed to feel the DNA of all human existence in that flowing, pulsing redness. The wolves seemed to help me out of the river somehow, though I did not see how. I heard the drum beat beckoning me home. Time and space returned to normal and then I was again sitting at the computer, looking into the screen.

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