My middle of the night dreams woke me last night and I swiftly got up, in a dazed and confused haze, to write them down. The author, Robin Artisson, is a frequent player in some of my most potent dreams, and this was one of those. I am with him and 2 young girls in his hometown of Louisiana. We are all driving around in a beat up old truck that has all kinds of crap in it. The truck is the property of the school that the two girls attend. There are cigarettes hidden under the middle “hidden” seat that lies between the two front seats. I think the truck is tan colored. Robin tells us that he is going to initiate us. We talk for a bit, and he is scary to me and seems a little self-important, yet I am very curious and interested in the initiation process. As we stop the truck, I have to pee so I step behind the truck to squat. As I am squatting there, a whole line of trucks with empty, flat-bed trailers attached to them goes by. I look behind my left shoulder and I see that Robin is watching me. It is as if I can hear his thoughts and he thinks, “Oh yes, she’s the one.” We all get into the van and drive out to a lake or body of water. It is nighttime. As we step out, Robin touches my right hand and suddenly I can hear a scary, devilish voice inside my head and it is telling me all kinds of things that I cannot recall to write down, but it went on and on and on. I am astonished and terrified, yet my wonder and awe are more profound than my fear. I walk along the dock with Robin as he leads me that way, still holding my right hand. It is as if my palms and fingertips are alight with electricity and almost feel like they have holes in them. It is an incredibly vivid feeling in the dream. As I look into the sky, the stars suddenly move and seem to form into different pictures or universes, all while the voice is talking in my head. My mouth is completely dropped open. Robin almost looks like a devil and I become afraid that he has tricked me somehow, and the feelings that I am overcome with are confusing, paradoxical, and intensely scary.
There was more to this dream before it and after, but the only other part I could recall was a bit where my husband and I are driving in some other kind of world, and I am drinking beer while driving and I almost crash into a brick wall. When I woke up, I was totally confused about my surroundings: I thought there was a notebook on the bed and I reached for it, then I thought my dream journal was on the bedstand and I reached for that, and when I stood up I was totally disoriented. A frequent thing about my dreams (and my journeys) is that I often cannot see faces. It is interesting to me as faces seem so important to us in waking reality, and much of where a person’s character shows through, especially the truth or lie that lives in a person’s eyes. This dream, it seemed there was more clarity in faces than in other dreams, and yet I still cannot really describe them.
The feature of a “devil” is intriguing to me, and throughout the dream I had the feeling that the voice was that of the entity sometimes referred to as “Master” that is so often associated with the Christian devil, and that Robin represented an Opener of The Way or what can be thought of as a crossroads spirit, the “black man at the crossroads” and/or psychopomp. I have studied just a tiny bit about these spirits, and I have blogged before about the entities who have come to me in dreams and meditations revealing to me their function as my own psychopomp and Opener. I think that these terms mean similar things, and can be the same function, but can also be different things. I guess the way I understand it is that a psychopomp escorts souls of the dead as they die, but is also in a sense a guide to the person as they live, and an Opener of The Way is an entity that a person can petition to “open the way” to communicate with the land of the dead and speak to dead spirits through them. I do not claim any expertise in the matter, and it seems that I have two guides that fulfill these strange functions. My psychopomp is the archangel Gabriel, and my Opener of The Way is Ma Ximon (whose favorite offerings include cigarettes (and were featured in the dream) or cigars and whiskey, daffodils or other flowers, and coins-as he can be petitioned to bring luck in gambling), or at least this is my understanding. I have difficulty in knowing how to work with these entities, and it has been quite discouraging to me because I think they have important lessons and functions to reveal to me. I have tried numerous times to work with Gabriel, and my deep mind has imparted to me this his/her (as I understand this archangel, it is both masculine and feminine, although he was revealed to me as masculine) energy is very subtle, and I was told that he is “very busy”, but that he is always able to be called upon. He has given me a specific symbol with which to utilize for his protection and as a way to hail him. Using this symbol in a meditation that Peter Paddon described, I was once able to hail Gabriel, and he held my hand and walked me through a lush forest and taught me how to use my breath as offering to plants. As I breathed into the air, the entire forest bloomed with thousands of vibrant flowers. It was very beautiful. That was my last encounter with Gabriel.
Ma Ximon comes to me in dreams, but he has confusing, subtle lessons, and when I first learned about who he was, I was very afraid of him. Now it seems a little silly to me that I was afraid of him, but his lore is a tad disturbing when you first read about it. His lore involves sexual violence and dismemberment, so you can understand why a gal might want to be careful in harnessing that kind juju. He has become a saint in the Catholic faith, San Simon, because no matter how the church tried to suppress the veneration of this entity, the people would simply not heed the taboos. So, as is the history of the church, if it can’t beat a spirit into oblivion, it disguises it as a saint and calls it a day. The lessons he seems to teach are about ways to use masks to assume different “identities”, and this seems to be a very useful lesson in terms of chaos magic, which uses belief as a tool and helps one morph in and out of different paradigms.
Much food for my very scattered and intense thoughts!