Healing

Before I went to sleep the other night, I did a rather quickie ancestral working for a plea for healing my kitty, Vesta. She’s been having some issues, and so far we’ve gotten no good answers. I loathe to sit idly by waiting for appointments to come and go, nebulous medical non-diagnoses, so I’ve booked an appointment for her tonight for some Reiki healing. I’ve never experienced Reiki, so I have no idea exactly how it is done, but we’re going to give it a shot. At least it is something I can do at least on a subtle level that should, at the very least, give her relaxation, or I hope so. I was so agitated the other night, watching her stumble about, that I got out of bed and fired up a couple of candles and immediately the tears started flowing. These were my tears, offerings for my lineage, deities, guides, and lost friends. I offered breath, tears, burning sage and love to the spirits as I asked for assistance from their realm. I even remembered my ENT doctor, who treated my neck tumor and whose death affected me greatly. To break off on a bit of a tangent about my awesome doctor…

At his funeral, they gave away loads of shells from Florida beaches that he used to collect to make lamps with. I took three beautiful shells (that have a place of honor on my ancestral altar) to remember the man that saved my neck, my face, my smile, my life. Though my tumor was benign, it could have turned cancerous, and indeed, I was lucky to be left with any feeling left in my face at all, much less be able to still smile normally. More than that, though, he convinced me how my lifestyle was killing me, and I made significant changes after my surgery. I knew psychically when he became sick, but it still was like a punch in the face when I got the letter in the mail about his passing. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I’m sure it must’ve seemed odd, to be so affected by the death of someone I barely knew at all. But it’s an interesting thing, to have a doctor save your life, to see him as a healer, a skilled surgeon, someone who was only just coming to retirement age and someone who has saved thousands of lives to have his well-earned retirement torn away from him. It was just not fair, and I mourned him with a ferociousness that surprised me. All of his patients were invited to the funeral, and many of them came, many of them much sicker than he was. Yet here they were, still alive, while he, our savior, was gone from Earth. My mom used to work with him years ago, she being an RN, and she knew many of the doctors and nurses there, and she was glad to attend the enormous farewell with me. For being a skeptic, I was surprised when my mom shared with her RN friend (my doctors personal assistant) that I had sensed his disease. It was a little awkward position as I generally refrain from discussing such matters in public or with strangers, and I could tell it caught her off guard, but she handled the comment with grace. It was a strange knowing that I received. I came in for my final appointment, my 6 year checkup. He walked in and right away I sensed sickness in him, and I heard or felt or knew, “He has cancer. He is going to die.” It was that succinct, that simple. And when I receive those messages with no emotions attached to them, from a place of absolute centeredness, I know they are really messages and not projections from me. Whenever a feeling is clouded, murky, emotion-filled, I question it. Then it is almost always just some kind of fear within me coming out. But when it hits out of the blue as just a plain knowing, that is when I have no doubts.

So back to my kitty….the other night as I made my plea, first calling to my L’Ma (mother in law) since she was the last who passed and the first to come to me. I was so clouded that I didn’t notice the shifts or presence insomuch as just called out and started blubbering to the air. I looked up and saw my doctors three shells. I called upon him and in plain words told him what he meant to me, how he saved me, how I was so sad about his passing, and how if he could somehow make it happen in his realm, however the hell it works over there, to please help heal my tiny Vesta. I explained what was going on and exactly what I wanted to happen. I also made up my mind to make the Reiki appointment to do what I could on the mundane end (and since her next vet appointment isn’t until Wednesday) to help her. I felt the emotions subside as suddenly as they had swelled and the tears burst forth, and I could feel myself calming from deep inside. I said profuse thanks, and extinguished the candles.

Upon waking, I journaled my dreams. Another big, black cat came to me. This time, the word “puma” kept running through the dream rather than the previous “panther”. I got the impression through the dream that this was the same aspect of the Dark Mother that I’ve dreamed of many times now. At the start of the dream, the puma was dragging a balding, white-skinned man from the top of a mountainous ridge, covered in trees. I didn’t want the puma to eat the man, so I tried to find another food source for the large cat. I could only find tiny offerings, but it was enough to get the puma interested and she followed me. She ate what I gave her, and I could sense that she was keeping her dangerous nature in check. I was afraid, but also understood what I needed to do. I was then in a shopping mall where I was searching for things I needed for the puma. It felt like a familiar mall, one I’d dreamed of before. I thought that the puma strode next to me at different points. In a scene I couldn’t quite recall, I think I was lying down with the puma and a smaller animal.
The overwhelming feeling about this dream when I woke was that I needed to make an offering specifically to the Dark Mother. Before we left for work, I grabbed two pieces of homemade pumpkin bread, an apple, a bunch of almonds and a raw egg. When I got to work, I prepared a compostable plate with sliced apple, slathered some butter on the bread and broke it into smallish pieces. I then took it all outside and originally was going to try to find a birch tree, but decided to leave it beneath a large, delicate pine tree that hadn’t been doing so well until I started to leave offerings under it, and now it is doing much better. So I placed the plate beneath the branches, cracked the egg in half, letting the whites spill out a bit, and poured the almonds onto the ground beside the plate. I said a quick and silent blessing to the Dark Mother, sent my profuse gratitude to her, to the tree, to all who dwell there and walked briskly back through the sub-zero air to the office. Since I’ve never been given a name associated with this deity, I’m not sure whether when leaving offerings, a person should not look back, but I momentarily forgot that piece of lore and did look back, though mostly just to make sure I wasn’t being watched by unfriendly eyes. I work on a college campus where there are people everywhere. I try to do most of my spiritual business in the quiet mornings, but when I’ve found little dead bird bodies and moved them to rest beneath a tree, I once had a nosy-nose follow after me to see what I was doing. I’m sure she got a right surprise!

Feeling better about doing my ancestral working and leaving a lovely offering to the great black mama, I tried to put my worries about Vesta on hold for the meantime as her Reiki appointment time came nearer. Around 8pm, we loaded Vesta up and drove her to the metaphysical shop. She was greeted with friendly faces and joyous hearts, everyone came to say hello to her! I got such a great vibe from the Reiki master right away, and he was so wonderful with her. She’s a little tigress, and when nervous, she paces just like a tiger. She paced and sniffed all around the room, and all the while we spoke gently and reassured her that this was not the vet, that only gentle healing would be taking place. It took her a good while, but by the end of the session, she was sitting calmly on the floor and seemed to be quite okay with this kind of healing! No pokey things! Nobody squeezing on her! No being wrapped in a towel and whisked off for painful procedures on a cold, steel table! I had booked only a 15 minute session, not sure she would tolerate any more than that, but he must’ve spent at least 30-45 minutes with her. She gave two cute little meows at the end, one seemed to signal, “Okay, I’m done!” and then when I said, “Say thank you and goodbye, Vesta”, she gave another tiny meow to Chuck! SO CUTE!!! She was calm in the car home, received much love and treats, and per a suggestion from Chuck we set up the bedroom to be closed off for her for some privacy from Walter. She is needing just a little more ‘lady space’ from our big boy, so I brought food, water and a litter box into the master bathroom for her. She seemed immediately to know that I was setting it up for her benefit, and came to sleep with me all the night, lying on top of me and purring wildly, just like old times. She seems much calmer today, though I haven’t seen her walking around yet. Yesterday, she seemed much less wobbly. Chuck also suggested that her wobbliness might be from her allergies. He said he has permanent scarring inside of his ears from his allergies, and now has vertigo! I am so much relieved at hearing this!! I will be following up with my herbalist friend to get some nettle seeds to help Vesta’s kidneys, and in the future we’ll be taking her to a holistic vet that incorporates a variety of healing methods and integrative therapies, including herbal treatments. I was so pleased with Chuck’s methods that I will be returning for my own Reiki healing sessions!

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