Cthonicism

Last month, the Thunder God and the Dark Mother visited me, showing me that pure terror and divine comfort can indeed be bedfellows. Last night, it was all about cthonic male powers, and again, it was a similar feeling. Scary, thrilling, disturbing, and passionate. Safe and protected, but also vulnerable and threatened. I have no idea how to explain these paradoxes, only that they can definitely be felt simultaneously. In my dreams last night, he came in many forms, each more odd than the next. The most striking image in the dream was the last form before I woke up. I was showering off a costume and mask, and a man that I knew well in the dream but not in real life who had shorn hair, dark eyes and a sultry, deep voice and powerful demeanor, but who also felt kind-hearted, was lifting my mask and whilst staring directly into my eyes, asked, “Where have you been?” and he walked around me as water dripped all around. This dream had lots more details, including a lot of male figures throughout, many of whom seemed threatening in some way, some I experienced as passionate, all of whom were watching me or encountering me in some way. One of my brothers-in-law was one of these, and he was dressed in a ridiculous costume that was both Eddie and Grampa Munster, and he was begging me to kiss him (eek!) though I’m not sure I did. I remember I was piecing together a lunch of miscellaneous items, and he was ordering fried rice from a restaurant that we were in. There was a very odd scene with loads of birds gathering beneath a stone bridge, and I was collecting all of their feathers, including huge black, pink and brown mottled feathers. I felt this scene as a bit anxious or sinister in some way, as if I was in danger and needed to act quickly. Another scene, me and two other people (Hubby and M) were walking or flying along the freeway going the opposite way of traffic, and there were birds and critters all over the road and we were moving them with our minds so that they wouldn’t get hurt. As the cars rushed forth, they veered in opposite directions to avoid us and the clutter of animals. There were many scenes of people with masks and then removing them. There was also, I thought, some bit with a giant lady bug that was pastel pink and yellow.

Tomorrow is the Feast Day dedicated to He-That-Kind-Of-Scares-The-Ever-Livin’-Shit-Out-Of-Me. I think that it may be wise to host at least a small feast for him in light of that dream. At least he’s all about alcohol and cigars, I can dig it. And I don’t think that venerating a deity is the same as asking for favors and getting roped into contracts. As we all know, deals with tricksters can be, well, tricky. Until I know more (and likely not even then) I don’t want to be entering into no deals with devils. He is a crossroads deity, and every crossroads spirit I’m familiar with can offer (and deliver) such deals. As he is an ‘opener of the way’, I take this to mean that he is MY opener, the one assigned to me. There are other openers, and each do a similar function. They can help the living communicate with the dead. I find this interesting timing as my recent attempt at ancestral contact was less successful than previous attempts, and I seem to be getting ALL feelings. I got bogged down and overwhelmed with emotions that seem to be projected onto me. I summoned my mother-in-law last week, and I was consumed with sadness over her missing her children, and the session ended with me crying about each of them, in turn. It may take some time to be able to hear and ask things with any sort of certainty. I am curious how one summons an Opener of the Way, as I understand it, a person needs to be at a physical crossroads to do this, or as NWW pointed out, you can bring the crossroads into your home. I have tried this unsuccessfully before, but it may have been my fear making a half-hearted attempt. I also get paranoid that our neighbors will hear me and call the cops or some damned thing.

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