Dream Wardrobe

I have certain recurring dreams. Two story lines are so strangely mundane that I find they stick out to me more for that reason. There’s one story arc where I’m the current, former-smoker me, but in the dream I can always enjoy a cigarette now and then. It’s so real that I’ve many times woken up CERTAIN that I’ve been having cigarettes off and on all these years since I quit, but in reality, after I quit the final time, I only “cheated” three times within the first 6 months. This doesn’t surprise me too much since cigarettes are such a big part of a smoker’s life and, in fact, built up to be part of the addicts identity, but I do find it uncannily real and therefore very different from my normal dream world. My dream last night is an interesting arc that I find kind of funny and intriguing. In these dreams, I’m searching high and low for a bunch of clothes that I used to have (in reality) but obviously got rid of long ago because they no longer fit me. In the dreams, I’m not sure that I’m still that skinny, 95-pound girl, or the current 130-ish pound middle-aged me, but the dream me is convinced that the clothes are still around and that they will still fit. I search and search and search. Why would I dream about these clothes? I’m really not that “into” clothes or clothes shopping, I mostly wear jeans and tee shirts with white socks and my Doc Marten Mary Janes. Admittedly, they were feckin’ awesome clothes: there was a paisley dress that I loved but almost never wore (because even then I only wore jeans and tee shirts), there was an awesome hippie shirt that I wore occasionally, there was a cool green hat with some kind of red pattern all over it that I wore in junior high, and one thing I loved to wear with my jeans was a sexy, leopard-print shirt that I could no longer squeeze into once I went above a B-cup. It was AWESOME!! There were also many skirts, petticoats and really frilly stuff that I adored, but just never found any opportunities to wear them. It seems that in the dream, I am searching mostly for the petticoats, frilly stuff and that paisley dress.


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