Sunday at the Bloody Bar

We’ve got a date with our wonderful friend-family at the Bloody (Mary) Bar this morning for brunch. There’s an awesome tiki bar place that we like and they are now serving brekkies, and with the holiday season crunch, we wanted to just be able to hang and have fun with our peeps. We’ll be seeing them next week for their annual holiday Holiswizzle, but that will be a big party, and this will just be the tight knit crew. I went to bed late got up late. Hubby and I had a nice tryst, and are now enjoying coffee and the Sunday papers. I discovered Vesta had put her teeth marks into my niece’s presents under the tree!! I was hoping to have a couple of them be from Santa, but she’ll recognize Vesta’s marks straight away, I always point them out to her and say, “Look, Vesta helped us wrap your gifts”!! Sigh…

Anyway, I just wanted to quickly log a bit of a dream from last night. The bit I remember was me and 3 or 4 other girls (and they were girls, not women), we were walking around a strange building and landscape that seemed absolutely foreign to me, and kind of sterile. We stepped out of a building, and into what seemed like massive flooding water growing higher and muddier. One of the girls went under, purposely, to look for something. As we all waited for her to come up, time clicked on and she never came up. I was terrified to put my head under the polluted water, so I reached my hand down to feel for her. It was almost as if I could see through my hand because I could see murk and weeds, but not her. Finally I realized that I needed to plunge my head under and find her, so I dove in and forced my eyes open. I saw her instantly, lodged under some part of the building and weeds, and I grabbed her hand and pulled her up. I can’t recall any more than that, but I seem to remember that the girl under water had red hair and reminded me of one of my niece’s friends who waves to her from the bus after she’s been dropped off. I’d been reading another serendipitous post from WOFG about fear and doubt yesterday. One thought rang in my mind particularly: “Courage is acting anyway in spite of fear and doubt.” I feel like that’s part of what this dream was telling me, that perhaps I have gained more courage, I just need to rely on it, trust that it will take over when the fear comes. I was proud of my dream self. She knew what to do in spite of the fear.

I meditated yesterday for a good while. I was able to relax, which was great, but focus eluded me. I tried the countdown method, I tried the stairs, I tried the ocean, I tried the screen, but always my mind kept walking in 7 directions. I even took out my scrying bowl to assist my mind, and I did start to feel very disconnected from my body. I imagined myself diving into the water and swimming, and the bubbles in the water turned into stars and blackness. I started to feel so far away that I decided I’d better just meditate normally or my head might drop into the bowl. I thought of my ancestors, of my grandpa and what mysteries of Mason’s he took with him, my grandma and her rosary beads full of her living prayers, of astral material sailing toward beaches and the moon, of the cosmos living and breathing. These Mysteries….they do intrigue me.

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