Busy Work

I got some kind of wild hair up my butt and got a ton of little charms started last night. I did some wood burning the other night and made charms from those that I just love and today am going to continue working on making them into jewelry or charms for my wands and staffs. I made a bunch of the most delicious smelling incense pellets that I’ve already wrapped up and placed into my homemade glassine pouches. I went through my massive beaded jewelry collection and fished out all the ones I want to disassemble to use the beads in other projects, and then fire up the soldering gun to make sure the charm bracelets don’t lose their charms. Yesterday, I went swimming and book shopping with Mum at Half Price Books and I found an awesome book on canning that I picked up (Better Homes and Gardens make the BEST freakin’ how-to books you could ever want for kitchen fun!) and I am very excited to try it. We didn’t get our shit together in time this year to buy any shares in a CSA, but next year we plan to split it with Mum, so I’m sure I’ll have tons to can and pickle! This year, we plan on just getting everything at the Farmer’s Market and either blanching and freezing a lot of it, can it or pickle it! I LOVE PICKLED ANYTHING! I can’t wait to try my hand at pickling green beans, beets, cauliflower and cucumbers 🙂 YAY!

I’m back to meditations, and I’m feeling 100% better. I was so agitated and down, and once I fired up Ariel’s meditations to get me going again, I felt better and more calm immediately. First of all, Ariel is just the bomb. The man is so relaxing to listen to and his meditations get me in the headspace I need to be in to relax and do the harder work. For the longest time, when I used to meditate (without guided recordings), tears would just start streaming down my face and it became such a discouraging block that I had to start using guided meditations. But even some of those couldn’t ease the mood, but using Ariel’s….that’s NEVER been the case. They’re all effective and calming. I won’t say they always take me to a happy place, because sometimes you need to go within and look at all the dark crap, but more just finding that calm peace that let’s you see the thing for what it is. It’s like when I get the knowing, it’s not usually filled with emotion at all, it just is. I mean, of course if it’s something bad, I’ll come out of the moment of knowing and think, “Wow, that sucks” but while it’s happening, it is just simple knowledge without feelings. I can usually then drift from the guided meditation into a silent meditation easily, which is the goal for me. I can’t get into my own places when there’s another voice in there, but it lets me relax enough that I can then turn it off and delve into my own psyche.

Discipline is still the biggest challenge. For everything in my life right now: my spiritual practices, cleaning, exercising, even simple bodily care. I’ve neglected my nails, I started picking at them again, my skin is horrible as always, the extra weight I’m carrying seems to have turned into major flab…bye-bye toned circus-trained arms, abs and butt! Of course, I’m pre-menstrual and tend to really hold onto the water weight, so I probably shouldn’t make judgements for a couple of weeks. I have been swimming and walking more, and I’ve cranked it up a notch, so hopefully that will start paying off soon. I’d like to start doing the Wii workouts again because they are easy on my joints. I had to stop dancing (my second favorite exercise besides swimming) because it’s been killing my knees and feet. I do some of the dance moves at the pool so I get the toning without the joint strain. At least I’ve been able to keep my blood sugar under control since that can be the bane of my existence. I have low blood sugar and low blood pressure, but also IBS so I can’t eat a lot of the good stuff like salads, whole wheat, raw veggies; any insoluable fiber is my enemy! It was so bad for awhile trying to manage my sugar that it would get dangerously low…just scary. If you ever see someone acting psychotic (and I mean that literally), offer them a sandwich and some OJ and see if it isn’t just their blood sugar going all whack. (Hmm, note to self: maybe that’s what I need to do when crazy homeless people approach me.) But it’s been much better now that I know I need a balance of sugar AND salt, protein AND carbs. It sucks for weight gain, though, when your medicine is food. Anyway, I may incorporate a mandatory spa day alone to pamper myself once a week to take care of my nails, skin, hair and the like.

Today will be a day of walking with Hubby in the rain, crafting, (hopefully) more planting, making chow mein, and self care. Happy Sunday!

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