“You Are My Electric, Got A Black Jag For You, And That’s Why I Call You My Sweet Vanilla Blue….”

I’m feeling my punk roots exploding from beneath me tonight. I feel the pull of the night, running, breaking the law, twisting myself in knots, numbness, destruction, drugs, alcoholic kisses, carnal sins. I crave clove cigarettes, Southern Comfort under the expressway, speed at Rocky Horror, acid by the river, stumbling down “smokin & drinkin’ alley”, and even the sickening inhalent RUSH on Lake Street. Listening to Naked Raygun on the way to the shops for boring adult crap like proper shoes and toilet paper and Citrucel made me feel old, and the cold night air of March always and forever has made me want to run. In fact, the first week of March marks the anniversary of some pretty intense shit for me, and every year the quiet rumblings of spring beneath the snow ignite this crazy internal molotov cocktail inside me, reminding me of that time that I let it fly. It’s both sweet and bitter; recalling a time of juxtapostions: complete stolen freedom and emotional imprisonment, innocence and the subsequent loss of it, rebellious spitting at authority and intense pressure to conform to “alternative ideals” within my chosen peer group. It was what made me, and what unmade me. There are secrets I keep from that time, secrets that will go to my grave with me and are hard to bear, but they are part of me. I think of all this stuff as threads in a complex and fragile web. It makes it all valuable, important but also…not. It’s just a strand in a very large system of strands. It helps me let it all go.

Here’s an awesome video recorded in the club where I ‘grew up’, First Avenue. My (then future) brother-in-law can be seen rocking out in the front in a couple of shots 🙂 The frontman, Jeff Pezzati, is the absolute epitome of controlled chaos to me. They are still around, so if you like punk rock, get there.

Naked Raygun, “Vanilla Blue”

Here’s another cool song just for the fuck of it: Guided By Voices, “Everywhere With Helicopter”

“…We know the answers
We fill us in
I do not diminish
Start to finish
Front to end

Everywhere with helicopter…”

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