Divinity

I’ve been mulling more about the concept of gods. I think my belief about Deity is this: everyone perceives it differently, but more importantly, it’s revealed to us each differently. To me, all of my life and still at this point in my life, Deity has not revealed itself to me in the form of a God or gods/goddesses. It’s revealed itself more as senses, or awareness, even simple, unequivocal knowledge. And it’s that thing that is inside each of us should we choose to listen, which in my school of thought makes us each a vein in Deity’s being. I do not like to say, “I don’t believe in blank”, because it’s impossible to know. Just because something is unprovable doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Some people don’t believe in ghosts. It’s really easy to disbelieve in something you’ve never seen or experienced, but for those who have experienced something (like ghosts), it’s no longer about belief, it’s knowledge. What I find difficult is the people who, because they have had no experiences like this, marginalize those that do. Maybe I’ve been lucky to be able to have had psychotherapy and done lots of internal work with dreams, my subconscious, personal symbols and relaxation/breath work with a very experienced, knowledgeable and open minded therapist. For people who’ve never delved into their own minds, I guess they find this concept hard to grasp and therefore think that because they disbelieve in these things, they don’t exist. The thing is, I’m not sure most people do have these connections, or if they do they don’t recognize it, and they go along with a prescribed school of thought simply because someone tells them that’s what they should do, or what society deems acceptable. I feel a great relief that my mother spared us from this; she thought it was important to introduce us to the idea of spirituality, but also wanted us to find and choose for ourselves what works for us. Even with this openness, however, I remember feeling like I should believe in God, and the fact was, I didn’t. Nothing in any religious teaching I’d experienced meant a thing to me. I used to say, “I believe in myself”, because that was truly the only thing I could intuit. What was inside me was the only means by which I understood that there was something more, something undefinable to existence, and for me the idea of any other person claiming absolute truth in their religious doctrines was kind of silly. If it rings true for them, fine. But for most people I don’t think that’s the case. It’s my understanding that virtually everything in this life is unique to us as individuals. Yes, we can share similar experiences, but they are never the exact same. Take arthritis: for one person, it may just be a minor annoyance and with medication they can lead relatively normal, active lives. For others, it can be one of the most painful, debilitating experiences and the medication may not make even a dent in managing pain. This is why no one religious or spiritual path is provable, is right, or is wrong. And I think to even try to suggest it is a bit…fool hearty. We are in no place to make such claims.

Something (well, among many things) in one of Christopher Penczak’s books (Mystic Foundation, I think) really struck a cord with me. He discussed the use of “god” as an acronym, standing for Generating Force, Organizing Force, and Destructive Force. I really like that because it takes the human personality away from it, and the desire to form that personality into something that suits our fancies. I want to be careful in saying this however, because those with more experience than I work with deity that show themselves as individuals, and I don’t doubt their experiences. But, I guess I see it as: how or who G.O.D. reveals itself is based on the individual, is based on each mind, in turn. I think it truly is the Force, and how it’s perceived is unique in every way that we are. I do like to ponder this, as I often wonder if divinity will ever show itself to me as individualistic identities, or simply always be The Force to me. Interesting… 🙂

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