This morning, as I sang my morning prayers to so many teachers and allies, as each verse wove into the next, I felt my consciousness shift and could feel myself as three. I could sense my physical self in the position I sat in, a second self that came to mind as the animus, or masculine counterpart to my feminine, sitting in the lotus position with hands held together as in prayer and eyes closed; and a third self which came to mind as the “higher” or etheric body as it sat in the lotus position with hands on knees and fingers in the mudra of creation. As I sang, this strange feeling increased and I seemed to be able to explore it a bit when I thought of “entering” the field. I felt like a being with six arms, three heads, three hearts. It was quite intriguing. When Kelly-Ann did my Energetic Shadow Map in 2013, she met my animus sitting in this position, and as she put it, he was in a “sleeping” or “inactive” state. It is thought that a person needs to awaken and unite their anima/animus in order to be “married” or blended with their soul’s counterpart and become whole. I feel like this is akin to “Waking the Dragon”, or “Rising Kundalini”, or “Waking the Fates”, or at least in part. Waking the dragon, kundalini and the fates refers to a specific action where you open the root chakra and the primal energy that lies dormant in that energy center rises like a (indeed, AS a) serpent through all the energy centers in the body and unites with the crown chakra and creates an intense awakening (often seen as an eagle.) So I’m not sure if awakening the anima/animus is exactly the same thing, but I do think that the anima/animus are considered primal energies that unite with the Self to awaken the spiritual self as a whole being. The anima/animus is part of Carl Jung’s psychological model. Awakening Kundalini is said to be extremely painful, the pain manifesting as long-term, sometimes debilitating back pain. Waking the Dragon is another method of awakening dormant power that can cause insanity for the person not ready for such an awakening, and is said that either you ride the dragon, or the dragon rides you. Waking the Fates is described as when a person’s personal fates (the Norse believed that each person had personal and familial fates assigned to them) were sleeping, it creates a life of misfortune, and a person must wake them up in order to be fully present and living the soul’s purpose. These descriptions seem to refer to slightly different actions, and yet, in some ways, they are different ways to experience similar actions of spiritual awakening.
After listening to the latest book in the I Am The Word series (The Book of Truth) for the third time, again trying to comprehend its at once simple and also mind-bending meanings, I was out shopping for an out-of-print book for a class I’m taking, I came across two other books that jumped right out at me. One, by the well-respected teacher Malidoma Somé, I snatched up right away not even bothering to read what it was about as it was pretty well-stated by the title, “Ritual.” I’ve heard him on Christina Pratt’s podcast and he has the most fascinating life experience and knowledge. The other book, which was sort of hidden in the corner behind some other books, jumped out at me because of the name “The Order of Melchizedek”, and I had one of those moments where time seems to stop and I’m swimming in this strange non-time place of wonder. I took the book down and read the back and was stupefied by this uncanny find. Melchizedek is the “name” (or rather, the title) of the authors of the Word books. In the Word books, they say they are a collective, many consciousnesses of ascended masters who come together to teach. In the first book, there are three of them. In the subsequent books, there are more of them. In the most recent book, they say there are nine of them. So, I knew I had to buy the book. So, I happened to know that the name Melchizedek was from the bible; I have studied the bible a little bit, but not much, so after the name came up in the Word books, (they mention it specifically in the third book, I think) I looked up the name and had done some digging into his significance in the bible, but also into the meaning of the name. Names in mythology are actually titles. There is much, for lack of a better word, superstition about names, knowing and speaking true names, and so the beings of power use titles. As I understand it, hearing the true name of god comes at one’s death. But I also think it has to do with diminishment of power: to repeat a name diminishes it power. Ever hear the phrase, “That’s my name, don’t wear it out”…I think this is where that comes from, and I do see the use of a thing too frivolously as wearing it out. As they say in the Word books, our true name(s) is I AM, or I AM WORD. I have known about the whole I AM concept for quite some time, but I’m not sure I totally groked the whole thing until I came across these books. They explain that the divine self is called I AM and WORD, I AM WORD is the name for god in action. So to say, “Word, I AM Word” is to bring oneself into alignment with the vibration or octave of the divine ONE, the source consciousness from which we all come. It took me a long time to understand the concept of oneness, and how one main conscious being can become many consciousnesses, but now that I have, it’s interesting to me that I ever saw things in any other way.
I had a strange download as I said prayers to the East not too long ago where I felt Óðinn enter my head, and he imparted to me that the meaning behind his names/titles “High”, “Just As High” and “Third” (a few of his hundreds of titles) actually refer to the triangle that can be drawn from the shoulders to the head that form the alchemical symbol for fire and are created by connecting Huginn, Muninn (his two ravens that sit on his shoulders) and Hliðskjálf (the Third Eye). These three things work together to help reveal to ourselves our perception as spiritual beings. Huginn being The Thought, the ability to think, perceive, and take in information from a neutral stance. Muninn being The Memory, the DNA memory of our physical bodies which carries specific information within us but also the capacity for our spiritual selves to access the DNA of everything from all time by entering the “cosmic soup” (which I see as a river of blood when I journey) and allows the meaning we gather from The Memory to be applied to The Thought. The Third Eye is, of course, the place where we can see, or understand or KNOW, everything from a completely spiritual perspective. This triangle, then, creates the “Fire in the Head” or the “The Fire From Within”. (These are also titles of two great books: the first by Tom Cowan, the second by Carlos Castaneda.) This fire, which I refer to as “spirit fire” or the “internal sun” is an important part of our waking up to our true selves and purpose.
So anyway, back to Melchizedek…as I was at my teacher’s house for class last week, his gal-pal was telling me about this incredible healing she had done by a practitioner that she’s worked with before. She sent me her information, and upon researching her site, I was flabbergasted at the offerings she has, and also that again, that name, Melchizedek, came up. So, anyway, all the signposts are pointing me in this strange direction of ascension. The first author to turn me onto ascension magic was Christopher Penczak, and the whole idea really freaked me out at the time. Ok, well, I’m still freaking out about it, but am more intrigued than afraid now. Although, I woke the other night from a dream in terror, sure that beings were coming down from space to retrieve me and put crystals in my body and return me to a life where I could no longer function as I had and that I would go insane. So….yeah. The fear is still quite there.
I once had a visceral mediation or dream where I was being taught by this woman who lived in space. She brought me to her ship, and showed me where earth was in relation to her home in space, which was millions of galaxies away from earth. I was shocked by this teaching, and yet it was kind, and real. She imparted to me that she would be teaching me again someday, but not for awhile. She wanted to introduce herself and allow me to process her existence and the realization of where she comes from. I had another visceral experience in dreamtime where I was a galaxy myself, and I was dying and I was going to die before my “children” (smaller galaxies) but also that because time did not exist in this place, I would also witness the death of my “children” and the terror I felt was more powerful than any terror I have ever felt. Even in my workings with the Dark Mother, Panther, Puma and Bear that were all about mastering terror…nothing compared to the terror I experienced in this strange galaxy dream. It also brings up that idea of paradox yet again. I’ve been trying to recall my dreams regarding paradox and also about breaking rules of physics that we deem to be hard and fast rules of this realm but are actually not…they are only agreements that we all agree are real, but because this reality can be morphed as long as we don’t become weighted down by “rules”, we can actually do and change an enormous amount of unimaginable things should we uproot our attachments to fear. As I ponder the idea of fear, I realize how much fear yet grips me. In every way, fear is still so present in my core.